light.

After writing my post about lemons I felt guilty not sharing more details

however I'm not one to share my soul with many people

but it's been almost a week since the event that prompted such a post

I am now feeling ready to share

this is a long post.... sorry

Months ago preventive cardiology who I work for

announced they were going to try to get another full time position approved

it took FOREVER.

seriously

it all started in September and they just filled the position.

Since there are 3 super great awesome candidates working part time

they posted the job opening internally and just long enough for us to apply

I was super excited

I have been working there over a year and longer then anyone else

All my fellow employee's told me the job was mine

we went through all the formalities of applying

3 interviews!

I was confidant primarily because I felt like a great candidate

I knew it'd be hard for them to decide

all the employee's are super great

I need to add:

I work the most shifts, if I worked 1 day more I'd be working 'full-time'

I am proficient in both components of my job, inpatient and outpatient

Patients remember me by name(impressive when they see so many people a day)

Anyways I'm sure you already know what happened

my manager took me into the hall ... seriously and told me they chose anthony

'we decided to go with Anthony, I don't have a reason'

yeah that makes perfect sense ....

'I love you like a little sister and really want you to stay working here'

right....

'we'll have another FT position within a year when daybreak opens'

hope i'm not around....

obviously it was upsetting

I was totally outraged, upset, sad, angry, betrayed, blindsided and so much more

all weekend I dreaded going back to work today

I'd have to face all my co-workers

we'd have to talk about it

how could I possibly be composed enough to go through that....

but

somehow through all those emotions I finally found peace

Finally I felt like what everyone said all along was true

'something good will come from all of this'

'everything happens for a reason'

Each day got a little bit better

Sam even treated me to a mani/pedi to make me feel better

by the time I returned to work today I felt like me again

(well except for the fact that I came home early with the flu)

also something Sam treated me to.

I talked to my managers' manager and they gave me 2 lame-o reasons

but I was happy to have tangible reasons.

It made me feel like they didn't just pick a name out of a hat

That there was some thought to their decision

So I feel like there's light at the end of tunnel.

The turning of a page

And I'm happy again, because no one can take that from me

stay tuned for a post about what I learned from this experience

many of you inspired me.