as if june wasn't exciting enough adding Mack to the family
Sam had a birthday
and his first fathers day
I think I get world's worse mother for not making fathers day more special, but there's always next year
a lot of you have asked me how it felt to finally find out the gender of the baby right after delivery.
honestly it was so fun and so special. we had no idea what we were having. no technician, doctor or nurse ever slipped or told us. Towards the last few weeks of pregnancy I had a blast buying boy and girl clothes. The nursery I wanted gender neutral, I've never been one who wanted all pink or all blue, so it wasn't a big deal.
When the nurse told me it was time to start pushing it made me so excited that I was so close to knowing. Despite how drained and tired I already was it was great motivation to push hard so I could find out. Sam got to see first and told me with a huge grin, 'it's a boy, we have a little boy!'... 'with tons of hair'. Now i'm head over hills for this little boy.
I cried when I realized that one day I'd send him on a mission, and cried even harder when I realized that he's get married and love someone more than his momma. But until then I'm excited for the trucks, trains, wrestling, and sporting events.
you always hear that your love and appreciation for your mom increases a hundred fold after having your own child. I have always had a good relationship with my mother. We hardly ever fought or disagreed. I felt like I appreciated her and understood all that she does for me. After having my own child I better understand what people mean when they say that. I thought they were talking about the physical sacrifices, waking up in the middle of the night, stopping what they are doing to do something for you, cooking, cleaning, loving, forgiving etc. But what I didn't realize was that having a child takes so much more away. I feel like I never stop thinking about my little man. His well being is always on my mind and my hopes and dreams for him continue to grow each day. Once he is sleeping when I should get up and clean up the house or make dinner I can stand to put him down. I just snuggle with him all day long. My identity has completely changed and I love it. It hasn't been all bliss and movie like but between the good and the bad it's been completely worth it.
I wanted to mention how wonderful our mothers are.
A few weeks before we had Mack we woke up to a mother in our garden planting plants.. since we moved in in the winter the yard needs a lot of attention and being 38 weeks pregnant it wasn't first on my list. My sweet mother in law said I would want some color in the yard once the baby came, something lovely to look at. She was right! thank you!
While I was recovering in the hospital my mother spent her afternoon planting the vegetable garden that I always talked about planting but never got to. She planted me a few varieties of tomatoes and peppers, zucchini, melon, and a cucumber. Not only am I excited about the produce in a few months but it gets me out of the house every day to water and check on them. I get so excited when I see little things popping up.
I love being a mother and am so grateful for the mothers who taught me by example.
My doctor asked me if I scared to deliver... any questions or fears she could help with?
I answered honestly with nope, I just want to get it over with
I remember being so scared of labor at about weeks 25-35
then I reached a point that I just wanted to have the baby
I didn't care about the pain, or how it happened I just wanted to have it.
I went in for my 40 week check up.
Once you hit 40 weeks they do a few extra test to make sure baby is doing okay
They checked my fluid, which was up from the last time=good sign
Then we did an NST, baby looked great
and my contractions were about 7 minutes apart like they had been forever..
Afterwards I met with my dr. and I had actually progressed and was ready to have the baby just needed a little extra umpf to my contractions to get things going. She offered to induce me, called the hospital and they said I could come straight up.
(i should have known baby was a boy, with heart rate sticking around 120 bpm)
(first family picture)
Of course I was thrilled to be having my baby, and to not have to suffer anymore physically/socially anymore(or so I thought). I called Sam, who was about to just start surgery, good timing, so he met me on the 4th floor. So let's fast forward because this is supposed to be the short version. I got all hooked up to the pitocin and my contractions were just starting to pick up and the babies heart started to have decelerations. Which isn't a problem if they happen with contractions but you don't want them to happen after a contraction, it means the baby isn't getting enough oxygen. But it's hard to determine what's really happening with external monitors. So my nurse stopped my pitocin and we waited for a dr. to come and break my water and place internal monitors. The internal monitors can monitor the intensity of the contractions as well as more accurately monitor the babies heart rate. It only took 4 hours for someone to come and break my water, so I ate popsicles and we played a lot of monopoly deal. It was a really relaxing and peaceful time. Once my water was broke they could start the pitocin again and see how the baby tolerated it. We only turned it on to a 1/4 of the normal dose and the baby did great, after that things progressed quickly and relatively smoothly. By 9 o clock I was supposed to just try to relax and allow the baby to drop as much as 'he' could without me pushing. By 10 it was time to push and 10:43 he was here.
(first family picture)
Sam and I chose to be the only ones in the room and I'm so glad that we did. It was such a special and intimate time for us. The peacefulness and spirit that was in that room is indescribable. Afterwards the doctor and nurses did all the checks and things that needed to happen and then left us alone. My little family of three. We said a prayer feeling so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for our little one who safely made it to us and enjoyed being alone for the first time.... our families hate us for this since we didn't even notify them of Mack's arrival until about an hour and a half later.